


The Star Spangled Body Swap

by Gayest_Disney_King_Ever



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Body Swap, Cats, Marvel - Freeform, Mayonnaise, Reader Insert, gender neutral reader, lots of mayo and cats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-06-15 19:34:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15420051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gayest_Disney_King_Ever/pseuds/Gayest_Disney_King_Ever
Summary: You get a day of the Star-Spangled-Experience of Steve Rogers.





	1. The Star Spangled Surprise Pt. 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheShalluraSunshineChild](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=TheShalluraSunshineChild).



> Prompt:  
> “B21 and A6. MCU for sure, reader-insert. Body-swapping with either Tony or Bucky... never mind, how about just an avenger (or Deadpool) who you wouldn’t have expected to adopt 5 cats!  
> Reader wakes up to find they’re in (character’s) body. They have a wild day as that person while that person in their body has a normal day. Once everyone is back to normal stories are told... and (character) finally finds out why their room is covered in mayo, what happened to their (possession [if it were tony his suit,etc.]), and of course where in the heck those cats came from.”  
> -From TheShalluraSunshineChild
> 
>  
> 
> I chose Steve if you haven’t figured it out. Happy (super late) Fourth of July! Sorry I didn't get to this sooner. I just graduated and I’m already getting ready for college on top of settling into full time work. Fun fact: I started writing the on Memorial Day so it took awhile, but enjoy the absolute crack that is this work.

You woke up in the morning, like any person would. Unless they were a Vampire- then they probably woke up at night. Regardless, you were surprised to not find the loud blaring of your alarm screaming in your ears. You’d woken up naturally for a change and it was really nice. You already felt energized and ready for the day. You sat up and swung your legs onto the hardwood floor next to your bed. You reeled from how cold it was. And the fact that it was hardwood. Your bedroom was carpeted. Looking around, everything was out of place. You were thrown by the overwhelmingly minimalistic room. White walls that were all bare, a king sized bed of white sheets and pillows and an equally boring comforter. The only thing of note was some picture of a pretty lady on the nightstand.

You tried to recall what happened last night, but couldn’t remember anything past going to the bar with some work friends. They weren’t famous or anything (Note the sarcasm I can’t express through text), just the Avengers. You were pretty high up in SHIELD and Steve often invited you out with the team. You’d heard rumors that he liked you, but you never took them seriously. This room actually seemed a lot like something Steve would have. You knew he didn’t care much for material objects aside from a few from his past. Speaking of, the lady in the picture looked like Peggy, his ex-girlfriend from his military days. You gathered the courage to step off of the bed now. With the knowledge you were stepping onto the hardwood, it wasn’t so shocking to you now.

Another not so shocking thing was noticing a mirror you’d overlooked across from where you now stood. No, what _was_ shocking was what was in the mirror. Before you was Steve Rogers in all his naked glory. Your face heated up and you tried to look away, but you noticed his face heating up too.

“Oh my God Steve, I am so sorry. I can’t believe I-” you started, but it wasn’t you. You clearly recognized Steve’s voice saying the words you were trying to say. It was at that point you realized it was you in Steve’s body.

“What kind of _Freaky Friday_ bullshit is this?” you asked quietly, color draining from your face. Steve’s beautiful face paled as you panicked, wondering what to do. Immediately you rushed over to a light wooden dresser at the foot of his bed and put on some boxers, avoiding contact with Steve’s...thing. Your face- or Steve’s face- was about fifty shades of red by now as you tried to digest the situation. You needed to get to Steve. He was probably in your body back at your apartment. You were probably currently in his apartment at Stark Tower. You slipped on a comfortable looking plain white shirt and grey sweatpants you found in the dresser and some socks to protect your feet from the cold hardwood floors before slipping out of the room.

His living area was beyond the door and was again beyond basic. You assumed it was just the era he grew up in during WWII and how he felt most comfortably in the space. You were going to immediately go to find Steve and figure out what was going on, but your super soldier stomach grumbled and you figured you could stop for breakfast. One thing you didn’t expect upon leaving the clean and tidy bedroom in search of food was what a wreck the rest of Steve’s apartment was compared to his pristine bedroom. He didn’t seem to have any clean plates or real food for that matter as you dug around the cupboards for something to eat. The floors were littered in wrappers and discarded clothes and empty coffee mugs littered most surfaces.

When you got to the fridge, your eyes widened and twitched at the horrifying discovery that it was full of mayonnaise jars upon mayonnaise jars. At least twenty littered the fridge. What the _fuck_ does one super soldier need with so much mayonnaise?


	2. The Star Spangled Surprise Pt. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets a taste of Decapcito and pussies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been so gaddamn much fun to write. Look out for the final chapter next week, I am almost finished!

On another end of the spectrum, was Steve. He was jarred awake by Despacito blasting out of a speaker next to his bed, eyes wide open and heart racing as he took the loud noise to be an attack. He rolled to avoid an imaginary attack and fell off of the bed covered and strangled by the blankets that came down with him. He struggled for a moment, getting a small carpet burn on his arm while the annoyingly catchy song continued to play in the background.

Once free of the attacking comforter, he was able to get bearing on his surroundings. He saw the cluttered room, full of vibrant colors and pictures and various decorations covering every wall and surface, it was almost overwhelming coupled with the grogginess of just waking up and the loud music still playing. He stumbled to his feet and rummaged around the equally cluttered bedside table and found a phone he assumed was linked to the stereo and ended the alarm. He let out a sigh of relief and took a moment to bask in the quietness before he focused on figuring out where he was and why he was here. The last thing he remembered was being at the bar with you and the others and a smug grin on Loki’s smug face.

Speaking of you, pictures of you littered the walls of the room, giving him a good idea he was in your apartment. But what for. At least he was dressed, but… these weren’t his clothes. He also felt significantly different as he moved around. He stumbled into the bathroom and met eyes with you. He stood stock still as he took in the fact that he was looking in a mirror and he saw you. Looking down, he realized, it was your body he was in. His face- well, your face, but whatever, it flushed a dark red as he tried to process what was going on.

He had to find you, was his only thought going back into the bedroom in search of clothes. You were probably in his body, back at his place at Stark Tower if he had to guess. Upon finding your closet door, equally littered with polaroids and prints of selfies from your phone, he found several pictures of the two of you together. He smiled a bit at that, memories coming to him, but he had to look away and focus on finding out what the hell happened.

He pulled on some clothes he thought you might wear, trying to match as best he could, though he never cared much when he was in his own body, he wanted to preserve your image in case anyone saw him in your body and recognized you. Once he felt he was presentable, Steve stepped out into the hallway of your small apartment in search of your house keys to lock up. Unlike your room, to his surprise, the small living room, kitchen, and are pristine, almost as if never even really used or lived in. He finds the keys hanging on a hook near the door with your personal bag on a table below. He shouldered it and headed out.

The morning air was fresh and lovely- well as lovely as it could get in New York City. He brushed by people in a hurry to Stark Tower, barely even taking a second to breathe in his haste, but a faint  _ meow  _ caught his attention and he saw someone standing on the street giving away kittens. The fact that he wasn’t sneezing or coughing right now was a miracle, he thought as he drew closer. You must not be allergic to cats. He’d been surprised that the serum hadn’t cured his allergies and ruined his hopes of ever being able to have a cat… but here he was, not knowing how long he’d be able to be around cats before he’s back in his stupidly allergic body.


	3. The Star Spngled Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was kind of a mess. I'm happy with how it turned out though. I needed to write somtheing kind of mindless for a change of pace.

When you and Steve finally found each other, you were each on your way to the other and had more or less met in the middle of both of your living spaces. “There you are, Steve?” You asked nervously, feeling weird as you looked down at your body. When your head nodded in front of you, you knew it was him. “Here, let’s go in here to sit down and talk.”

The two of you walked into the cafe together and found a corner booth to share while you stared uncomfortably at the menus in your hands. Neither of you wanted to be the first to speak and address the elephant at the table, but it was difficult as you both kept blushing nervously. Finally, Steve broke the silence with an uncomfortable cough. “So then, this is quite the pickle,” he tried to joke and you laughed uncomfortably in response.

“Oh come on,” a groan came from beside you and suddenly a familiar trickster that suddenly appeared sitting between you and Steve. You blink in surprise while he merely smirks. Steve looks just as stunned as you do. “I switched you both so maybe you’d stop being bumbling oafs stumbling around. Go on: talk.”

“Wait, you’re responsible for this?” Anger boiled upwards from your gut as you glared at the smug god before you, his smile as mischievous as ever. He showed you no fear as he shrugged. “Change us back right now, Loki. This isn’t funny.”

“Really? I think this is hilarious,” he purred, leaning backwards in his seat when you swatted at him. “Mind yourself, my dear. You don’t know your strength within Steve’s body.”

“Oh I think I understand just fine. I almost broke the door off the hinges this morning.” Upon receiving a startled look from Steve, you rolled your eyes. “I said  _ almost _ .”

“Regardless, she’s right. You need to change us back, Loki.” Steve commanded, brows furrowed. However, this expression on your face made you stifle a laugh. It was almost… cute? You never would have said that looking in the mirror at yourself, but with Steven in your body, you can’t take your eyes off of him.

Loki taps on your shoulder, smirking widely as he caught you. “Neither of you will return to your own bodies until you are honest with yourselves. Even if I wanted to help, the spell was cast and is now out of my hands.” He shrugs nonchalantly and throws his legs up onto the table. “I thought between the two of you that someone would figure it out, but you just sat here in silence and I figured you both could do with a small push.” He looked like a cat that had just gotten the fish from the tank and was licking at its lips from a satisfied meal. Once you and Steve were back to normal you were going to wring Loki’s neck.

You glanced at Steve and then back to Loki only to find the trickster vanished into thin air only leaving behind his chair. You scoffed and crossed your arms childishly. “Now what does he mean?”

Steve squirmed lightly in his seat, face flushing red and deep in thought. He caught your eye and you raised an eyebrow at him causing him to exhale. “I have an idea.” You made the motion for him to continue and he hesitated. His eyes darted around for a few moments before landing on you. “Lord help me, this is weird with you in my body,” he grumbled before taking a steadying breath. “[Y/N] I like you.”

Oh. _Oh._ **_Oh shit._** You gaped. You opened and closed your mouth several times, totally at a loss for words. “Like… like-like?” was all you could think to ask dumbly.

Steve laughed at that and nodded. “Like like-like,” he answered smiling.

“Well uh… I like-like you too,”  _ Very eloquent, [Y/N], _ you mentally roll your eyes at yourself.

 

You wake up hours later in your room lazily glancing up at your ceiling, but you feel well rested since you’re in your familiar space. You stretch and roll out of bed, checking the time now able to tell it’s about two in the morning. You had a weird ass dream about Loki forcing you to switch bodies with Steve and you both confessing to liking each other. It was lovely, but that would never happen outside of a dream.

The sound of a meow breaks your concentration. Was… was that a cat? You didn’t have any time to investigate before your phone was going off. It was Steve. You answered and walked out of your room into the sitting room, eyes wide.  
“Why is my kitchen covered in mayonnaise?” He asks.

“Why is my apartment covered in cats?” You counter.

You hear him hesitate and curse under his breath. “I uh- I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats."

“ _ Why _ ?”

“Well I mean, I’m allergic and you’re not and I ran into them and they were all so cute, [Y/N], I couldn’t just ignore them.”  
You roll your eyes, “Well now you’re going to have to help me rehome them because my apartment doesn’t let me keep pets, Steve.” You heard a sad apology on the other line. “It’s alright, Stevie. Just think before you act next time maybe.”

“How much did you think when you stole my shield and covered my kitchen in mayonnaise?”

“You already keep that place as a pigsty. I was making a sandwich and it was too perfect so it exploded. Your shield is in the dishwasher because you didn’t have any clean plates so I made the sandwich on it.”

“That is actually the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Well it’s the truth. But don’t worry, I still like-like you.”

“I still like-like you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Remember you can request stories like this in my other work! https://archiveofourown.org/works/8668309/chapters/19871449


End file.
